After several weeks of going out sharing some great laughs about your corky high school years and drunken college adventures. Acting like lovebirds falling asleep while talking on the phone. Then all of sudden you realize that they have not returned your phone calls or text messages within days. Your initial reaction is of concern, “I hope they are ok.”

Then you start checking social media and realize that they have been posting on Facebook.

Oh wow! I have been ghosted!

You gasp for air it’s as if someone has punched you in the stomach and taken all the air out of your body. Your thoughts are swirling 100 miles an hour, and the room is spinning.

What did I say wrong?

Maybe I text too much? Am I not attractive?

Did my breath stink? Am I good enough?

Was I too aggressive? Too controlling? What went wrong?

Ghosting, the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

It can be isolating and disappointing to the person being left without explanation.

We cannot control other people actions, and can’t guarantee that ghosting will never happen.

However, some strategies can lessen the impact of your feelings being hurt while increasing the simplicity and fun that should be happening in dating.

4 Strategies to Lessen Pain of Being Ghosted

1. What is date/dating?

When things are simplified, it makes it a lot more enjoyable and comprehensible. While being in a committed relationship or marriage has its levels of complexity, dating should be fun and straightforward like exploring a new city. What is a date/dating?

A date is defined as a social or romantic meeting.

Dating is going to several consistent social or romantic gatherings. What you hope to accomplish from the meeting(s) is what determines whether it is a social or romantic gathering for you.

  •  If you are hoping to gain emotional feelings are build a more intimate relationship with the person, then it is a romantic meeting.
  • If your goal is to be more casual and have a good conversation or learn/share something new with the person, then it is considered a social meeting.
  • Causal meetings are like going to lunch with a coworker. If one day they go to lunch with another co-worker instead of you, your feelings are not hurt? Right? Well, it’s the same thing with the person you meet and go out on a social date(s).

To avoid the intense feelings of ghosting the best recommendation is to view ever date as a social meeting until both of you are desiring for the same outcome with each other.

Then after that agreement, it becomes a romantic meeting, and more loving feelings are expected.

2. Fill Dating Pipeline

A Dating Pipeline is having several different people that you go out with on social meetings.

The Dating Pipeline allows you to meet and get to know several different people at the same time instead of one person at a time.

Therefore, you are not putting all your hope for a relationship with this one person that you have had social meetings together.

If one of the many people you are actively going out with decides they no longer want to hang out with you and stop calling it is less impactful because you have plenty other people that you are getting to know and having fun.

Make sense? So, get out mingle and start adding people to your Dating Pipeline.

3. Still Attentiveness

The paradox principle that I have coined SA (Still Attentiveness) is being wholly engaged in a task or situation yet at the same time detached from the outcome.

Still Attentiveness is about connecting with a higher- level of being present and living in the moment.

It allows you to unlock the power and potential to intellectually and emotionally experience life at the moment.

What people tend to do is have an expected romantic outcome when going out to social meetings with people.

  • When socially dating someone do not think ahead of what it can be.
  • Instead be present in the moment and live for that moment, not the second or third date or the rest of your lives.
  • If you experience a great time with that person embrace that moment. Do not jump ahead and start hoping for more.

If they choose to ghost, then it’s ok because you had no expectation of the future and you had the opportunity to enjoy time and space with someone, and now it’s over, and that is ok no harm no foul.

4. The Story You Tell Yourself

A sudden choking feeling, sweating, upset stomach, feeling a little detached from your surroundings you find fault in yourself,

bemoaning all your inadequacies,

kicking yourselves when you are already down, is the experience once you realize that you have been trying to reach this person and they are ignoring you.

You may tell yourself that the person has ghosted you because

you are not good enough.

Or that all men/women just want to play games.

You come to a conclusion that

“I am must have done something wrong.”

or they are immature.

When in fact you have no idea why they choose to stop calling and hanging out with you.

You can’t control their behavior, but you can control The Story You Tell Yourself about the situation.

The Story You Tell Yourself drives your feelings and emotions and the energy you put out in the world.

Instead of telling yourself that they rejected you,

tell yourself the truth as you know which is they, choose to honor their time and spend it differently.

They are not rejecting you,  yet honoring themselves. 

These 4 strategies will help lessen the self-defeating thoughts and blow to your self-confidence.

Get back out there have fun and implement these principles

While enjoying as many social and/or romantic meetings as your heart desires.

To learn more about why your relationships are falling apart within 6-12 months, Please accept my Free Video Gift to help get past a year in a relationship and build a solid relationshipwww.lovemeright,net

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